• Dentists are incapable of asking questions that require a simple yes or no answer.

• Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden?...
A month later he was picking his teeth

• What does the dentist of the year get?...A little plaque

• What does a dentist do on a roller coaster?...He braces himself

• What did the dentist see at the North Pole?...A molar bear

• What was the dentist doing in Panama?...Looking for the Root Canal Where does the dentist get his gas?...At the filling station

• Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?...He was already taking out a tooth

• What did the dentist say to the computer?...This won't hurt a byte

• While I was waiting to see the dentist, a woman came out of his inner office smiling. Nodding to me, she said, "Thank goodness my work is completed. I'm so glad to have found a painless dentist and one who's so gentle and understanding too." When seated in the dentist chair, I related the incident to the doctor. He laughed and explained, "Oh, that was just my Mother."

• "I came in to make an appointment with the dentist." said the man to the receptionist." "I'm sorry sir." she replied. "He's out right now, but..." "Thank you." interrupted the obviously nervous prospective patient. "When will he be out again ?"

• A patient sits in the dental chair with severely fractured front teeth. After discussing how they will be restored and what the fee would be the patient says, " Before we begin, Doc, I gotta know: Will I be able to play the trumpet when you are finished? "
The dentist replies " Sure you will! "
The patient replies " Great, I couldn't play a note before! "

• Patient: Doctor, I am very nervous. You know, this is my first extraction.
Young dentist: Don't worry, it's my first extraction too.

• Dentist: There goes the only woman I ever loved.
Assistant: Why don't you marry her?
Dentist: I can't afford to. She's my best patient.

• Dentist: Just let me finish and you will be another man after these cosmetic procedures.
Patient: Okay doc, but don't forget to send your bill to the other man. • When a new dentist set up in a small town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the latest kind of "Painless" dentist. But a local lad quickly disputed this. "He's a fake ! " he told his mates. "He's not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth I bit him - and he yelled like anyone else."

• Young Charlie to dentist's sexy chariside assistant "Aha ! Are you the lady orthodontist ?".
The lady replied "No, but I'll straighten anyone's teeth "

• Young lady to father "Daddy, when I grow up shall I become a heart-doctor or a tooth-doctor "
"Dentist" "Why father ?" "We have only one heart, but 32 teeth!“

• Patient to Dentist: "How much to get my teeth straightened?"
"Twenty thousand bucks" Patient heads for the door. Dentist to patient: "Where are you going?"
"To a plastic surgeon to get my mouth bent."

• Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled? Dentist: With pain $200 and without pain $100. Patient: Well, without pain it's cheaper. Pull it WITHOUT pain.

• Without anesthesia neither anything, the dentist begins to extract the tooth, when the patient outcry: Aaaahhhhhhhh !!!!!
Hey, WITH pain it costs $200 !!!, replies the dentist.

• Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled? Dentist: $200
Patient: $200 for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly, if you like.

• Dentist says to the patient: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams? Patient: Why? Doc, it isn't all that bad this time. Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the 4 o'clock cricket day-night game.

• Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?
Dentist: Wear a brown tie...

• A friend of mine went to the dentist recently. He commented that it must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone's mouth. He said, "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet."

• Patient: Doctor, I am very nervous. You know, this is my first extraction.
Young dentist: Dont worry, it's my first extraction too.

• Dentist: There goes the only woman I ever loved.
Assistant: Why don't you marry her?
Dentist: I can't afford to. She's my best patient.

• Dentist: Just let me finish and you will be another man after these cosmetic procedures.
Patient: Okay doc,but don't forget to send your bill to the other man

• Dentist says to the patient: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams? Patient: Why? Doc, it isn't all that bad this time. Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the 4 o'clock cricket day-night game.